He stole from himself!


SOMEONE once remarked that if all of a sudden men began preferring women who walk on fours, it
would come as no surprise if all the women would suddenly be crawling.
But then men have always been of the belief that it is women who dictate in as far as dating
preferences are concerned.
My observation is that women react to men’s preferences rather than the other way round.
There appears to be so much misunderstanding between today’s partners in matters of the heart
regarding what each one comes looking for comes in today’s relationships.
Picture this scenario. A guy is in a relationship with a single woman. He literally looks after her- he
takes it a step further and rents and pays lodgings for her.
The juicy part of the scenario is that the woman goes on to tell the dude that he cannot just pitch up
at the lodgings as and when he desires. He has to give prior notice of his intended visit and get
approval from her.
The big questions are, is the woman justified in her stance? And should the dude accept this
condition since he is the one paying the rent? Our lot was divided. We agreed to disagree.
Mr. Vhandaberg was of the opinion that the whole arrangement is wrong from the onset and is
bound to end, more so tragically.
For starters, if you are a single woman who is still searching or you are in the business of thigh
vending- whether formally or not why would you accept such an offer unless the dude is a
chidhadha (a fool).
It does not require a rocket scientist to work out why the woman does not allow the dude to visit
without notice.
Nowadays we are always being told of women of substance. Self-sufficient women. In today’s world
there is no room for women who still have their brains between their legs.
My sister If you happen to be one such woman be warned, your end is nigh – change your modus
As for men who still think by paying rent for her you are home and dry…Makasara! You are a statistic
waiting to be added to the growing number of men who take other peoples’ lives and sometimes
theirs because their thinking starts and ends between a woman’s legs.
Mr. Vhanda could not proceed with his reasoning as the discussion was interrupted by some
disturbing news that had just reached us at the watering hole.
News doing the rounds in the villages is that one of the young men who usually hangs around with
us was on the run. We were taken aback. The young man is one of the remaining few who still
carries a head capable of rational reasoning as compared to the rest.

We later learnt the reason for his flight.
The young man had been having a relationship with one single mother in the neighborhood. Earlier
that day the girlfriend had phoned him inviting him to her place and he had obliged.
While on his way to her place the woman advised him to bring some relish. He bought a braai pack
of sausages and a pet drink which he arrived with at her place.
Just after his arrival the girlfriend gulped the drink. As for the braai pack, she left half of the sausages
to boil on the stove and put the rest in the fridge.
She went into the bathroom for a quick bath.
While in the bathroom she conversed with someone on her mobile. Thereafter she immediately
emerged wrapped in a towel.
She came and sat on his lap and kissed him lightly on the lips and said, “Shaa baba vemwana wangu
phoned. He is on his way nezvinhu zvemwana. Saka chimboenda ugozodzoka vaenda. Vakakuona
vanozofungira zvakawanda”
The young man did not object. So the girlfriend returned to the bathroom to finish off her bathing.
As soon as she closed the door, the young man collected the braai pack with the remaining
sausages-proceeded to the stove where he forked out the boiling sausages into the braai pack with
the other lot and left with the pack.
On discovering that the boyfriend had gone with the braai pack, she filed a report at the police post
to the effect that someone had stolen from her room while she bathed.
She named the young man as the prime suspect.

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