By Pelagia Cynthia Guma
Harare (New Ziana) –While many men in Zimbabwe are experiencing gender-based violence in silence in their homes at the hands of spouses and partners, some are beginning to speak out despite the stigma and humiliation associated with it.
Men suffer in silence because society expects them to be strong, often viewing those who are “hen-pecked” with disdain, leaving them to endure physical, financial, and emotional abuse.
What these men endure runs counter to societal expectations, cultural norms, and religious teachings, making their experiences even harder to acknowledge.
Last year alone, one of the leading organisations dealing with gender-based violence in Zimbabwe, Musasa Project, attended to 241 male GBV survivors.
Increasingly, men are beginning to discuss the circumstances that led them to victimisation, engaging with support networks that include Musasa, Padare/Enkundleni–Men’s Forum on Gender, churches, counsellors, and other organisations working in the field.
These platforms not only provide assistance, but also create spaces where survivors can share experiences and begin to challenge the silence surrounding male abuse.
One of the survivors, Samuel Matambanadzo, says he was physically abused by his wife, beaten over minor issues, a situation that eroded his confidence at work, within his family, and in the wider community.
“Everyone was laughing at me that my wife beat me on a daily basis. I went to report several times at the police station as I wanted my wife to be arrested, but they said these were minor issues that needed to be discussed. She was called in, and we both received counselling. This helped me, as my wife was given a warning that if she abused me again she would be arrested. That led to the end of domestic violence in my house. Nowadays we are living in harmony. So I am thankful to the police, I might have died due to the trauma and abuse, and could have even committed suicide,” he said.
Another survivor, Tonderai Ndlovu, shared how the constant comparisons with neighbours by his wife created tension in their home.
“My wife used to compare lifestyles of our neighbours, which led to misunderstanding in our household. It also affected our sex life when she started refusing intercourse. Eventually she had many affairs with different men who were wealthy, which led to our divorce,” he said.
He further explained that the experience affected him both mentally and physically, as he tried to work hard for his family, but his efforts were not appreciated.
Padare/Enkundleni–Men’s Forum on Gender programs officer Meseli Nyoni noted that cultural and social norms often promote violence, citing a Shona idiom likening a man to a bull that cannot be questioned (murume ibhuru chero mudanga mararara haribvunzwi) as particularly dangerous.
He explained that a lack of knowledge and awareness about what constitutes GBV, its forms, where to report cases, and its underlying causes, combined with economic challenges, continues to fuel abuse while substance abuse, mental health issues, as well as weak laws or poor enforcement of GBV prevention measures also contribute to its escalation.
“We have programs that are assisting survivors of GBV. They include psycho-social support through a toll-free line. We used to have a safe shelter for male survivors, but funding is a challenge. Education and awareness campaigns in communities, dialogues aimed at prevention and empowerment, and solidarity speeches at international commemorations are all part of our work,” he said.
While Padare/Enkundleni–Men’s Forum on Gender works closely with male survivors of GBV, the organisation also engages men who are perpetrators.
Through counselling, education, and rehabilitation programs, Padare seeks to break cycles of violence and promote healthier relationships, with the dual approach reflecting the reality that men can be both victims and perpetrators of GBV, and that prevention requires addressing both sides.
Nyoni added that GBV survivors are present in every community, as “everyone is a potential survivor,” where they are supported by Chapter members and male advocates, who connect them to organisations like Padare while protecting their identities.
Weighing in, Musasa Project director Vimbainashe Mutendereki said men often report verbal abuse, alongside structural issues such as unfair distribution of property after the death of a spouse, which leaves both men and women vulnerable to exploitation by relatives, while denial of conjugal rights is another recurring form of abuse reported by both genders.
She said Musasa has developed specific programs to respond to male survivors when they come forward, including direct services, where it offers counselling and referrals for specialised assistance to organisations such as Padare and Fathers Against Abuse, which focus on service provision to men.
Under prevention, the Musasa male engagement programs are designed to involve men in prevention and response, breaking the silence around their experiences and ensuring they are not excluded from GBV programming.
Musasa facilitates dialogues, which provide safe spaces for male survivors to share their stories, receive psychosocial support, and connect with services.
“These interventions are survivor-centred and aim to normalize help-seeking among men, while also challenging harmful stereotypes that often silence them. Community visioning sessions deliberately target men who are leaders to be part of the sessions in leading change,” said Mutendereki.
Renowned Clinical Family Therapist and Counsellor Dr Clayton Choga described GBV against men as rooted in how people interact and relate to each other, noting that societal expectations of masculinity “ndiri murume” (I am a MAN) teach men not to cry and to be the head of the family.
He said when these expectations are challenged in marriage or relationships, misunderstandings can escalate into violence.
Dr Choga explained that power dynamics, past exposure to violence in families, substance abuse, and poor communication skills all contribute to GBV, adding respecting boundaries, personal space, and viewpoints is essential.
“Without this, negotiation and compromise fail, leading to abuse,” he said.
Meanwhile, Bishop Ladwell Matanhike of the Apostolic Churches Council of Zimbabwe added a spiritual perspective, noting that some women can be violent, restricting the social and religious lives of men.
“Men are facing restrictions on sexual intercourse with their wives, which leads some to seek sex workers or small houses. Others are harassed or beaten but fear reporting to the police, worried they will be labelled perpetrators instead of victims,” he said.
He said survivors can be assisted through prayer and counselling, while couples should be encouraged to live peacefully, respect each other, and avoid harmful comparisons with neighbours.
“There is need for women to appreciate their husbands’ sacrifices, however small, as part of building harmony in families,” he said.
The testimonies of survivors, insights from organisations involved, as well as perspectives from counsellors and faith leaders show that gender-based violence against men is a hidden but pressing issue in Zimbabwe.
It is clear that for GBV to end, men should be acknowledged not only as potential perpetrators but also as survivors whose voices matter, while addressing harmful stereotypes, strengthening laws, and expanding survivor-centred programs are essential steps towards ensuring that all victims, regardless of gender, can live free from violence and fear.
New Ziana
